Matt Kohut discusses with Ivan six things which should be better known.
Matthew Kohut is the author of Speaking Out: The New Rules of Business Leadership Communication (2024). He is the coauthor of The Smart Mission: NASA's Lessons for Managing Knowledge, People, and Projects (2022), and Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential (2013), one of Amazon's Best Business Books of 2013. As the managing partner of KNP Communications, Matt has prepared CEOs, elected officials, and public figures for events from live television appearances to TED talks. Find out more at https://www.matthewkohut.com/.
The best way to get someone to agree with you is to start by agreeing with them. Reciprocity makes the world go round.
Machiavelli's dilemma–is it better to be loved than feared or feared than loved?––is a false choice. Few people remember this sentence that followed the question: “One should wish to be both, but…it is difficult to unite them in one person.”
Knowledge is profoundly social. What you know is deeply influenced by your context and culture. It comes from a combination of experiences and reflective learning, and it's often difficult to articulate.
If you want people to remember what you say, tell a story. As prophets and philosophers have known for millennia, stories stick with us.
Purpose leads to motivation; struggle leads to meaning. A shared purpose gives a group something to strive toward. A shared sense of meaning only comes when experience is followed by reflection and discussion.
Listening to understand another person's perspective takes different skills than listening to analyse a problem and make a decision. None of us really know what it's like to walk in another person's shoes.
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